one might say we're banned from that church
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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