using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
