I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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