I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
