that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
