woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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