If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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