You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
