Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize