just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
