Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
