is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Only a mothe r could love this liver
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
