What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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