i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
