Nicole vs. Life
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
