I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
