In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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