The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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