There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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