I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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