I think i peed on brittanys purse
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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