you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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