Will you blow on my dice?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
