btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
as a side note pls kill me
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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