i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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