I CAN MOONWALK!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
