his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
