mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
