I never want to see another naked old woman again.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
third nipple confirmed
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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