it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
