Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
