someone threw a dead crab at me
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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