I'm really into asian looking animals
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
