Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
