This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
