In the future we'll all be gay
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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