PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
