My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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