the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Success! We fucked roommates!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
