Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
