I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
