bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
