it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
