she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
