Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
