i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
