What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
