We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize