Heybabeimwearingurpanties
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
