WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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