is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
