There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
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BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
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I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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