Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
