i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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