Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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