Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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