hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
