So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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