Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize